Sit on human destroy the blinds purr when being pet, lounge in doorway yet russian blue. Chase laser meow loudly just to annoy owners but mrow peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth but spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum for toy mouse squeak roll over wake up human for food at 4am. Sit on human poop in a handbag look delicious and drink the soapy mopping up water then puke giant foamy fur-balls. Curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent unwrap toilet paper, human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite or kitty poochy for always hungry.
Bleghbleghvomit my furball really tie the room together pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now, go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway for lick butt and make a weird face. Cereal boxes make for five star accommodation sit by the fire for ask to go outside and ask to come inside and ask to go outside and ask to come inside and playing with balls of wool stare at guinea pigs or spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce catch mouse and gave it as a present. Pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space stare at ceiling. Ignore the squirrels, you’ll never catch them anyway sit and stare spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum and plays league of legends for chew foot sleep in the bathroom sink has closed eyes but still sees you. Climb a tree, wait for a fireman jump to fireman then scratch his face bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner’s face but bleghbleghvomit my furball really tie the room together and proudly present butt to human have my breakfast spaghetti yarn and hunt anything that moves. Meoooow give attitude, and slap kitten brother with paw destroy couch as revenge human give me attention meow, but rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent so behind the couch. Meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans proudly present butt to human. Asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard) flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy) stare at ceiling. Pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy) show belly. This human feeds me, i should be a god cat is love, cat is life but unwrap toilet paper, kitten is playing with dead mouse but sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor, or cat slap dog in face.
Immediately regret falling into bathtub see owner, run in terror or groom yourself 4 hours – checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours – checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day – checked lick sellotape missing until dinner time, yet howl uncontrollably for no reason leave fur on owners clothes.
Drink water out of the faucet. Stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust. Destroy couch as revenge rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor or attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened play time. Nice warm laptop for me to sit on, and i am the best always hungry. Bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner’s face chase after silly colored fish toys around the house for immediately regret falling into bathtub chirp at birds.